THOUGHTS

Thoughts: 2020 Life Update

Here's a little life update highlighting what happened from March til July.

Well, 2020 is definitely going to be remembered as the “what the fuck” year essentially. I think people didn’t expect this to happen at all. Well, to be fair, I don’t think anyone really expected all of this to happen. But everything just snowballed throughout the months. Within the past couple months, our lifestyles have drastically changed for the better. It’s now a normalized thing to wear face masks/coverings when going outside. What a time to be alive. Well that’s easy for me to say since I think I’ve grown a lot throughout the year. Here’s a little monthly recap of what I’ve done throughout the months.

January 2020 vs July 2020

If I’m being completely transparent with you, I’m pretty confident that I’ve changed throughout the months. July 2020 me is a completely different person than who I was back in January 2020. A lot of things have changed and a majority of the reasons behind the changes were particularly due to the ongoing COVID-19 pandemic. With the quarantine and stay-at-home mentality still going on after 4 months, it’s evident that the COVID-19 situation will not end by the end of the year.

Back in March, when the state lockdown was bound to happen soon, people went crazy. People were buying out toilet papers, hand sanitizers, instant noodles, and more. During this short period, people were being assholes and reselling hand sanitizers online. Well yes, it is safe to say that everyone definitely over-exaggerated to the early numbers of COVID-19. Numbers were adding up everyday and people (including me) were scared. Fast forward 4 months later, and the United States has around 4 million cases, but no one is taking this as seriously as before. Odd huh? I remember originally, my workplace was supposed to only be closed until the end of March. We were hoping to see if it would be possible to reopen slowly when it’s April, but that never happened.

At first, I thought to myself “hey, having 10 days off from work doesn’t sound too bad.” March

And yeah the first couple days at home felt great. I remember waking up past 11:30am on the daily, and go to sleep at around 4:00am. I haven’t had any actual days off since my Korea trip last year, so I knew I wanted to take this “leave” seriously. By seriously, what I meant was sleeping in and just relaxing at home. The first thing I remember what I did was I finished Pokemon Mystery Dungeon DX. This was one of the few games that I played during the early stay-at-home orders. The first week I remember stopping by various super markets to get some snacks for the time being. I was snacking on chips and candy every other day. During March, I remember I was playing Call of Duty: Warzone and Animal Crossing: New Horizons almost every day. 

I was enjoying this time off to myself. I remember thinking I had 10 days to fix my sleeping schedule and just relax stress-free until I get back to work. It was basically like a vacation but staying inside the house and I couldn’t leave the states. Literally, freeways were empty. The emptiest I’ve ever seen in my life. Freeways such as the and 405 were dead empty. Almost as if it was a ghost town.

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Freeway 5

Then we had the mandatory stay-in-home order. April 1- April 30

MAN, April was probably one of the fastest month I’ve ever experienced. It just zoomed right through. Within a blink of an eye, (not literally) we were in May. I think the only great thing to happen during the month of April was me starting this blogging page. I blogged almost everyday for the time being but stopped for almost 2 months. April was probably also one of my depressing months. I didn’t really think of it at first, but looking back I was fucking sad as hell. I guess being mandated to stay at home got to me. I’m a guy who normally hides his feelings. I’m great at not displaying them, only if it is necessary. But staying at home 24/7 really got to me. I felt trapped in a bubble and wanted to go out. But even if I went out, nothing was the same.

I could only go out to get food and groceries. All my friends allowed no visitors and we were all just confined at home. I’m pretty sure I went through a quarter-life crisis during April. I started to really think about my future. I started doubting if working at my place was ideal. I started to doubt myself I don’t find myself a girlfriend now, I won’t find one anytime soon. I started questioning almost everything. It was a pretty shitty month. The only thing that I felt grateful for was being able to have people to talk to. I was able to talk with my family members and my friends throughout the time, which helped me kept my sanity. I also started focusing on changing my looks by exercising almost every day. The only thing that kept me sane was exercising and talking to people around me. To those who were/are currently living alone in this situation, I feel sorry. It must be hard out there for you.

May

After April, the months started to snowball and I’m not sure what quite happened. All of a sudden, after the lockdown was done, people started to think it was okay to go out and be normal again. The problem was that the people who were going out had no mask on. Many people started going to beaches and having huge social gatherings. I thought to myself “well yes the stay-at-home order is over, but that doesn’t meant COVID-19 was over”. COVID-19 wasn’t going to disappear like that. It’s still there. As a matter of fact, the numbers are MUCH higher now than it was back in March. Wearing masks outside was normalized. If for whatever reason you walk outside without a mask on, people will give you that dirty look. It’s just crazy that within a couple of months, everyone’s lifestyle changed.

I remember starting the month of May off by losing $5k from Tesla. I had super far OTM options and the day after earnings, Tesla just tanked because of Elon’s rants. On the day of earnings when it popped, I thought I hit the jackpot. Woke up the next day when the market opened up and it just tanked. Slowly and slowly Tesla dropped even more due to questionable accounts and balances. $19.6k to $14.5k within a matter of 24 hours. How did I cope with this loss? I started taking the time to lose weight. It was on and off during April, but in order for me to stop thinking about my loss with Tesla, I had to keep myself occupied, and that resulted in me exercising. I started running on the treadmill and lifting weights around 4 times a week. Started to change my eating habits. Adapted a 18-6 intermittent fasting diet. I really didn’t see any changes until July.

What did I also do to keep myself occupied? I started playing League of Legends again. It’s safe to say that League is generally the same as it was before. I remember I stopped playing the game back then when the champion Kalista came out. I literally ran out of games to play with my friends, and since all of my friends were either playing League or the Valorant Beta, I had to pick and choose. League is still that same toxic game. You’ll occasionally get your feeders and inters in the game. Kids are still dropping racial remarks and being toxic. Never change.

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I ended up going back to work for the time being, helping out at our warehouse by organizing inventory before the store opens up. Also to note, I had to work almost by myself for 2 weeks to help shut down our Irvine location quietly. That was not fun at all. My boss was only going to pay me and not any other employees, so I had to essentially do all of the work by myself. Giving back consigners their items while cleaning out the entire store. Oh did I mention that I had only 10 days to clean out the entire store before the landlord kicks us out? Yeah that was a stressful week. Once inventory was done, my workplace had hoped for a grand reopening within the first week of June. That didn’t go as planned.

BLM

With the murder of George Floyd, the United States went through (and is still going through) one of the largest protests I’ve seen. During the first week, many people were protesting, as well as those who decided to take advantage of the situation and loot stores. Los Angeles was ransacked by looters. Multiple damages done to almost every store on the block. Cars were set on fire. Protestors were hurt. The month of June was all about inequality. I took the time to read and educate myself about BLM and the protests. It really opened my eye that some people have trouble with treating people of color equally. Most importantly, I’ve seen family members and friends being torn apart due to BLM. BLM really showing people’s true colors, and it’s sad to see some people who are still ignorant till this day, do not care about others. I’m not going to touch on this situation too much so I’m going to end it here.

Alas July

July was a mixbag of emotions. One of the greatest thing that’s happened to me was finally running 10 miles in a run. This is probably one of my greatest achievements to date yet, and I’m still proud of this moment. Originally, I decided to run miles to beat my original record. My original record was running 6.22 miles, with an average pace of 7’46”. I don’t think I can beat that anytime soon again, but I’m willing to try. Anyways, after running 7 miles I thought why stop here? It was a lot of mental game that went through my mind to keep me motivated. My parents were worried as if something bad had happened to me, but rest assured I informed them that I decided to run 10 miles and they called me crazy.

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I continued to run more and make it a habit to run every day again. I finally started to see changes! My parents, cousin, and friends recognized I lost weight. I felt super proud of myself. I really told myself that I was going to lose weight, and I actually did. I remember back in 2019 I was fat as hell. I would eat out almost every other day and not work out. It was bad bad. I specifically DoorDashed everyday with the help of a “jig”. It didn’t help out with my weight at all. At one point I was near 165 pounds. For my short stature, it’s not the greatest look. I was clearly unhealthy. I’m glad that I took the time to finally lose weight in 2020. Standing in right now, I’m around 145 pounds as of now.

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Weight update!

Throughout the end of the month, my grandma recently passed away. She was once living with us couple months ago all healthy and active. With the stay-in-home order and due to her old age, her healthy rapidly deteriorated. It is extremely sad to see her go, as no one would have expected her to pass away during this year. But with the ongoing COVID-19 pandemic and scare, it was inevitable. The great thing about it is that she is no longer suffering anymore, and she is free to reunite with Grandpa. Hoping both you can watch over us from above.

With August here, let’s see what the universe has lined up for us. 4 months left until 2020 is finally over. COVID won’t be disappear away anytime soon.

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